Day #2 Inner critic - you suck, go away

Ok, I'm here. Keeping my promise day #2.

 I have no idea if people really care that I write here or not. But I need this to keep myself accountable. If this blog in some way, anyway helps someone else than that is incredible and I am truly grateful that my selfish musings actually serve a greater purpose.

I wrote my morning pages already, which is one of the basic tools for The Artist's Way. Wake up, write three pages, anything, just anything. Write. Sometimes this is easy, sometimes this is very difficult. It's amazing how you start judging even what you're writing. These aren't meant to serve as "art" they are meant to be a form of meditation and silencing your inner critic. Its absolutely amazing to me how many times my inner critic will pop up in these pages. I will write something, free flowing thought, and then my inner critic will say, "what? why would you write that? that's not true! that sounds stupid!" So then I write, my inner critic is saying this is stupid. Then I move on. How sad that I even judge myself in something so simple and pure. My hope through this process is to silence that inner critic.

Another basic tool for The Artist's Way is taking yourself on a weekly artist date. All by yourself, anything. If I listen to music I'm working on, it feels like work. I need to find more freedom and play in my work. So I feel like listening to Beethoven 9, just sit and listen. Nothing else. That's my next commitment.

Hopefully this positive energy is working in some universal way. Yesterday, I definitely felt that way. I had been accepted as a Central City Opera Ensemble Artist in October. However, they had yet to contact me. Yesterday, several hours after my commitment to this blog and this year long project. I got the news that I have my first gig with Central City. I get to sing for their Season Teaser Dinner. Works from Ned Rorem's Our Town and Show Boat along with other arias yet to be selected. I'm so excited! I get paid to work for Central City, get to wear a fancy dress and I get free dinner. You're paying me AND feeding me? SCORE!

Finally, when you start looking for inspiration you start finding it EVERYWHERE. I was at spin class yesterday, which I actually hate but do anyway. I hate it because it works me harder than any other exercise I do. The instructor said "If you want to get stronger you have to change the way you think about the discomfort". I love that. You can apply it to every aspect of life. So I am learning to live in the discomfort and maybe *enjoy* it because I know that it is making me stronger.